Post by bigmike216 on Oct 20, 2004 1:28:16 GMT -5
Some of them may be extreme.. but still good for a laugh. ;D
The men strike back!
To all men : Important message to transmit to all your wives, girlfriends or friends (girls). (Good news, it's finally gonna change!)
For too long, we men have been divided in the name of equality, feminism and a bunch of other theories. It's OVER!
We counter-strike! Tell your friends, the '90s man is dead... Long life to the 2004 man!
Your attention girls, here is how things REALLY happen:
1. If you think you are fat, you are. Don't ask us. Move your ass and go to the gym.
2. Learn to use the toilet seat: if it is up, put it down, it's not complicated, and stop complaining.
3. Do not cut your hair. Never. It creates useless arguments when we dare comment.
4. Birthdays, holidays and Valentine's day are not searches aiming to verify if we can find the ideal gift...Once again.
5. Sometimes, we don't think of you. It must be known and you must live with it.
6 . Saturday = football/bike/formula 1. That's life.
7. Shopping is NOT a sport.
8. What you wear is awesome. Really!!!
9. Tell us what you want directly. Subtil insinuations don't work.
10. Learn that pissing upright is harder than pissing sat. Even being careful we will miss the target once in a while.
11. Most guys have max 2 or 3 pairs of shoes, so what makes you believe that we are able to choose the pair among the 30 others that will fit THIS dress???
12. A headache lasting 17 months is a disease. See a doctor.
13. Your mother must not be our best friend.
14. Check water and oil sometimes. It's an essential part of car maintenance.
15. Our relationship will never be again like the 2 1st months we were together.
16. All we might have said over 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument today.
17. It's not the dress that makes you look fat. It's all that ****ing chocolate!!!
18. Telling us all top models are touched up makes you look like jealous petty and will certainly not stop us from reading magazines.
19. Male tops models with "dream bodies" you see in magazines are all homosexual.
20. If what we say might be interpreted in 2 ways, and that one of them makes you sad or angry, you have misinterpreted.
21. Let us stare at other girls. If we don't do it, how do you want us to tell you you are so much better than all others?
22. If possible, thank you for telling us what you need to during the ads and not the half-time, because it is the moment we go to toilet, grab beer for the 2nd half-time or watch what the "experts" say.
23. When we are in bed and look tired, it's because we are tired and it certainly doesn't mean we want to talk about our relationship.
24. If you want a desert, take one. You are not FORCED to finish it. You can taste it if you want, but don't say "No, I can't/don't want/should not" to then eat half of ours.
25. A diet without exercise doesn't work.
26. If you do a diet, it does not mean we must do the same.
27. The 4 essential food for the man are white meat, red meat, coffee and fresh beer/Coca-cola .
28. Make sure all meals contain a reasonable quantity of the above mentioned elements - everything else falls into the category of "insipid".
29. Do not question our orientation sens.
If you can learn all that, men and women will be able to coexist in a love and mutual respect context.
The ball is on your side.
Sincerly, men.
To all men : Important message to transmit to all your wives, girlfriends or friends (girls). (Good news, it's finally gonna change!)
For too long, we men have been divided in the name of equality, feminism and a bunch of other theories. It's OVER!
We counter-strike! Tell your friends, the '90s man is dead... Long life to the 2004 man!
Your attention girls, here is how things REALLY happen:
1. If you think you are fat, you are. Don't ask us. Move your ass and go to the gym.
2. Learn to use the toilet seat: if it is up, put it down, it's not complicated, and stop complaining.
3. Do not cut your hair. Never. It creates useless arguments when we dare comment.
4. Birthdays, holidays and Valentine's day are not searches aiming to verify if we can find the ideal gift...Once again.
5. Sometimes, we don't think of you. It must be known and you must live with it.
6 . Saturday = football/bike/formula 1. That's life.
7. Shopping is NOT a sport.
8. What you wear is awesome. Really!!!
9. Tell us what you want directly. Subtil insinuations don't work.
10. Learn that pissing upright is harder than pissing sat. Even being careful we will miss the target once in a while.
11. Most guys have max 2 or 3 pairs of shoes, so what makes you believe that we are able to choose the pair among the 30 others that will fit THIS dress???
12. A headache lasting 17 months is a disease. See a doctor.
13. Your mother must not be our best friend.
14. Check water and oil sometimes. It's an essential part of car maintenance.
15. Our relationship will never be again like the 2 1st months we were together.
16. All we might have said over 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument today.
17. It's not the dress that makes you look fat. It's all that ****ing chocolate!!!
18. Telling us all top models are touched up makes you look like jealous petty and will certainly not stop us from reading magazines.
19. Male tops models with "dream bodies" you see in magazines are all homosexual.
20. If what we say might be interpreted in 2 ways, and that one of them makes you sad or angry, you have misinterpreted.
21. Let us stare at other girls. If we don't do it, how do you want us to tell you you are so much better than all others?
22. If possible, thank you for telling us what you need to during the ads and not the half-time, because it is the moment we go to toilet, grab beer for the 2nd half-time or watch what the "experts" say.
23. When we are in bed and look tired, it's because we are tired and it certainly doesn't mean we want to talk about our relationship.
24. If you want a desert, take one. You are not FORCED to finish it. You can taste it if you want, but don't say "No, I can't/don't want/should not" to then eat half of ours.
25. A diet without exercise doesn't work.
26. If you do a diet, it does not mean we must do the same.
27. The 4 essential food for the man are white meat, red meat, coffee and fresh beer/Coca-cola .
28. Make sure all meals contain a reasonable quantity of the above mentioned elements - everything else falls into the category of "insipid".
29. Do not question our orientation sens.
If you can learn all that, men and women will be able to coexist in a love and mutual respect context.
The ball is on your side.
Sincerly, men.
